Ancestors.......Ruth Edith Hirsch

Born in the summer of 1923, the youngest of 6 children, she grew up in a house her father had built located in the small town of Williamsville, NY. Her sister Jeanette was more like a mother than a sister being about 17 yrs older. Growing up in a well-to-do family, she had no idea what the depression was about. She once told me about her mother feeding strangers who came to do odd jobs around the house in order to earn a meal. Her father eventually bailed out 3/4ths of the town in order for his friends and neighbors to keep their businesses and homes. After the depression was over, the people gradually bought back all but the garage
and restaurant. Brilliant business man and righteous at the same time. Great combination!!!! She once told me that even having the ability to not know about poverty didn't prevent feelings of wanting something someone else had that she didn't, that it is not having money that is bad, but the wanting more and more and never being satisfied. This was an invaluable lesson for her and myself, which has been much appreciated as the years have gone by.

As she grew, piano lessons and a college education were afforded her. WWll came along and she signed up to be a Navy nurse. As far as can be discovered, she never left the states. Towards the end of the war, she met, at Cape Cod, fell in love with, and soon married George Siglin that fall near Buffalo, NY. Her Navy experience and association with George taught her to smoke cigarettes, which habit she was never able to overcome in-spite of failing health issues, congestive heart failure and diabetes. After her death, it was discovered that she had the beginnings of lung cancer as well.

Marriage to a poor man, with only a high school education, was not what she was used to, but she made the best of it. Her brothers and sisters were very generous in giving them furniture and clothes for the children as they came along, 3 the first 3yrs of their marriage. George was working for a railroad company, which traveled between Elmira, where he was stationed, and Buffalo, with free family passes. This was a blessing, as it gave Ruth and the children many opportunities to spend time with her parents and brother and sister's families. Her family meant the world to her. Being a close knit family who cared for each other, Jeanette continued to be like a mother to Ruth and would come to help out with Spring and Fall cleaning, whenever she visited. This caused Ruth to feel less of a homemaker, because with her children so close, she was overwhelmed, but wanted to prove herself better to her family. It was many years before she was able to accept help and not feel criticized.

She was a good mother, singing while she worked, teaching them to tie their shoes, ride bikes, playing games with them, confronting teachers who were unkind to them (in those days being left handed was not acceptable to many teachers), etc. Her second child was sickly having seizures at the hint of a fever or illness, which gave her much concern, as there wasn't much the doctors could do for him in those days. The 3rd was a little girl quite spoiled for the next 4yrs until twin girls came into the family. Whenever the frustrations of raising children arose, she would lock the children in the house and go for a walk around the block. If her anger still was not under control, she would walk around again until she could face the situation with complete self control. She said that some might say that that was neglectful towards her children, but she felt that hurting them when out of control would have been worse, so she took the least harmful option, since she had no one to turn to for help most of the time. George worked, as he used to phrase it, 8-16hr days a week.

Each time more children came into their family, Georges "drinking" problem got worse, especially when he was furloughed from the railroad company (laid off temporarily). If he didn't come home at a reasonable time, she would awaken the children, put them in the car, go around to the local bars to find him and bring him home. This was very disturbing to the children, and not good for the marriage, so they came to an agreement that he would only drink at home, which he did until having a heart attack and quiting drinking at the age of 55.

Over the years, Ruth was a great friend to many young married women in her neighborhood, visiting them and helping with their children. Perhaps because of wanting to help relieve those young mothers of the same stresses, which she had had to deal with. Eventually, 2 more boys entered the family, and by the time they grew up many opportunities were able to be given them, which caring for a large family prevented the older ones from enjoying. This however had no effect on the love the older ones have had for the younger ones. They have grown up to be a close family.

During the summer to maintain order in her home, as the older 5 grew old enough to go the public pool alone (it was close to their home), Ruth would give each of them money to spend their days at the pool learning to swim and having fun. She would tell them that they would grow up soon and have to work to care for their own families, so have fun and enjoy life till then. However, this philosophy backfired, because they did not learn to enjoy work, and gave them too much unstructured and unsupervised time. The first 3 were married very young and the twins have each been married 4 times.

Ruth was a fantastic mother-in-law and grandmother!! Always inviting her married children to stay for dinner, buying clothes for and giving little trinkets to each of her grandchildren. She was ever mindful to give as fairly as possible, because of her own mother-in-law only showing love to her oldest grandchild. She was full of beneficial advice from child rearing to marriage. Once she told me that if I ever wanted to do something as a family, that I'd have to make the plans, invite Tom and go whether he wanted to or not. Most of the time he has gone, and I have been spared resentment from unfulfilled adventures. Also, she taught me how to show love to my husband and my children. She taught me to pick my battles and how to fight them. Things must be said at the right time, when they are willing and able to listen, when there are no distractions, when they are not resentful or angry, and by avoiding criticism. She was forgiving, understanding, patient, and kind, while I learned from her example, both from her successes and her mistakes. She became my mother. I miss her terribly......

Being raised in a family divided between the Episcopal and Catholic religions, Ruth didn't attend any church regularly, but for Easter and Christmas she would go to the little Methodist church within walking distance, sometimes inviting me to attend with her. Her daughter Ruth Ann, talked about her keeping a Bible next to her bed to read at night. She never discussed, to any degree, what she believed, but never used the Lord's names in vain, or used foul language, until all of her children were grown and married. Each of her children were "baptized" into the Episcopal Church when infants, each were married in a church, and all funerals were performed in churches. Then, she went to work and absorbed the bad language of those with whom she worked. To rationalize this change in behavior, she said that religion was for raising children and now that her children were grown, she didn't need to practice it anymore.

Once she told me that I was a wonderful wife and mother, but that I was too old fashioned. Well, there is the contradiction, it isn't modern to be a good wife and mother. She asked me to pray for her when her heart began to fail and reached out to me more and more for spiritual support as her health continued to deteriorate. When her oldest grandchild was to go on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and would be gone for 2 years, she was afraid she would not see him again, because her health was so fragile. He had spent nearly every day of the first 3yrs of his life visiting her home. He returned in September, and she died the following April, satisfied that she was able to see him before she died.