Alice LouiseBorn in the summer of 1928, she grew up in the small town of Towanda, PA, in a LARGE house (which her brother, Russel, eventually inherited), until she entered High School, upon moving to Elmira, NY. She is the youngest of 6 children in order of age: Helen, Edward, Edna, Ida, Russel, and Alice. The "Great Depression" is the environment in which she grew up. Her sister, Helen worked and bought clothes and toys for her. Edna and Ida had to work around the house and wait on Helen, when she came home from work and, according to them, she was unkind. Alice was actually a shy, fearful child, especially of large dogs, had poor self-esteem and dreaded other children's opinions. She felt left out by her friends and others, because of her shyness and lack of self-esteem, which continued her entire life.
The summer Alice turned 15yrs old, about a year after moving into the left side of a duplex home in Elmira, she was taken to Towanda to live with her sister Ida for 2 months, in order to help care for the children and house after Ida's 3rd child was born. She expected to be able to "play" with her friends at Ida's house and not be of as much help to her as Doc, Ida's husband, insisted she be. This created a life long resentment toward this brother-in-law. At age 16 she went to work in a factory to help out with expenses during WWll. Her allowance of $5/wk, allowed her the resources to begin smoking cigarettes, which habit continued, until she was about 60yrs of age. Helen and her family came to live in the right side of the duplex home. Helen eventually inherited the house in Elmira for all the help, which she had been to her parents over the years. Sadly, this created resentment in the family.
By the end of World War ll, the soldiers had returned and, upon graduating from the Elmira Free Academy High School, she married her brother, Russel's, best friend, Victor, also from Towanda, PA. This turned out to be an unhappy union for several reasons. When Alice got married at age 18, she still did not know how to clean house, cook a meal or iron clothes. She had to learn from scratch with a husband who was very critical. Victor was poor and liked it that way and did not expect to ever have any children. They had one child, Kathleen a year later. This was not only another financial responsibility, but she was a sickly child, costing lots of money for hospital and doctor bills. They lived in an apartment with tar paper covered floors. A little over a year later came a second child, Kolleen. Because of the tension in their marriage, Alice went to live with her parents, until after this baby was born. They had been living in Towanda across the street from Victor's parents, whom Alice did not get along with, because of differences in life style and religious attitudes, not to mention, Victor's father was also an offender....
Soon, her parents helped them purchase a 2 room, 2 story, tar-paper house in Horseheads with 3 lots of land, an out-house and no running water buy it did have electricity and a cook stove.
Another 2yrs brought the completion of a cinder-block, 2 car garage for temporary use as a four room home, until a house could be built on the adjacent lot, which was never build, because Victor hurt his back. Finally, cold water IN the house! Bath room, hot water and central heat came 6yrs later. Finally, doors on the bedrooms came 2yrs after that. On Saturday evenings, Alice bathed her children in the sink, until they became too big. After that, she filled a wash tub, in which the whole family bathed, one at at time, using the same water. This tub was placed in front of the warm wood cook stove in the kitchen, on which the water had been heated. She would set the girls hair in curlers after their weekly bath and use Nestle's hair gel to maintain the curls when the hair was dry. While the girls were having their baths, she would teach them math by using the numbers on the clock, which was kept on the window sill.
Her mode of discipline was a 1/2"x1"x18" stick across her daughters behinds, whenever she was angry with them. One day to protect themselves, they hid the stick, so she broke a branch off the apple tree in the front yard and used that instead, which hurt worse. The stick was returned.
Four years after moving into this house, a much planned for and doted on son, Roland, was born. About a year earlier, her parents had moved to FL, and she was very resentful that she was the child of "old" parents who could not help with this pregnancy also. A year later, Alice went to work full time running a drill press in a dark, dirty, machine oil, smelly factory, because Victor was bed ridden for almost a year from back surgery. She liked the freedom and making her own money!! Even after Victor was able to return to work, she continued working, until Roland went to kindergarten. She was home for about a year, which was a blessing to her daughters coming home from school to singing, dinner cooking and the house work accomplished. Then, back to work she went, until retirement at age 62, and relinquishing all of the household choirs (and harsh criticism from Victor of how things were done) onto her daughters. Thereby defending herself from his verbal abuse.
One time, when the girls were playing Jump Rope, she tried to "out jump" them and caused her heart to beat too fast. She had become out of physical condition from lack of adequate exercise and smoking. Alice read "romance novels" about nurses falling in love and marrying doctors, so she insisted that one of her daughters was going to become a nurse and marry a doctor to be rich. To her disappointment, neither ever did. In about 1957, because of tension at the dinner table each evening, a
television and card table were purchased and set up in the living room for the girls to eat their dinner away from the kitchen.Later in that same year Alice and Victor inherited Victor's grandparent Elliot's farm in Rome, Pa. The family used it for weekend get-a-ways, vacations, holiday retreats, and deer hunting expeditions. Many happy holiday events and extended family get togethers were spent at this farm.
In 1962, Victor started working in Vestal, NY and Alice was working in Elmira, NY, so they sold their inheritance and looked for a new house to purchase, which would facilitate easier transportation for both to travel to work. They settled on a @ 54 acre farm in North Chemung, a little, country town between Breeseport and Elmira. She never wanted to live outside the city, especially on a farm, but they had many friends from the Masons and Eastern Star organization (which they had belonged to for several years), who already lived there. She was always quick to volunteer her daughters for all types of service from cooking, cleaning and serving at dinners to babysitting and cleaning for their friends. Obedience was expected without reward. In her mind, service was what children were for, at home as well as for friends and acquaintances. She never became comfortable with the small town attitude of knowing everyone's personal business, and criticizing each others mistakes. She became guarded.When her oldest daughter was 18yrs old, Alice became Matron of the Eastern Star group, which she belonged to, and wanted to initiate her daughter into that same organization. To Alice's MUCH disappointment, her daughter flatly refused, because she did not believe in joining anything unless willing to put her whole heart and soul into it, which she would never do.
After her daughters left home to begin their own families, she had to do all the work at home again. She always said that money was to be spent and enjoyed while the moment was available. It is hard to have a grasshopper attitude and witness the ants when Winter comes......
Alice was sad when Roland married Patty, since he had become her reason for coming home each evening, after problems in her marriage had surfaced. Her three children came to visit less and less as they moved farther and farther away from the Elmira area, and their children became more and more active in outside activities.
After Victor's death, Alice became friends with a widower and eventually bought some land close to his farm, upon which she has put a trailer, which they now live in.
There are two much asked questions:
1) Why do women, and men for that matter, return to unrighteous situations, when they are not happy and many times not safe there?
2) How can they be helped to change this behavior?
Pres. Henry B. Eyring says, Love them, teach sacred truth, testify that these truths are true, and live them. He says, in "To Draw closer To God": "We cannot control what others choose to do, and so we cannot force (anyone) to heaven, but we can determine what We will do."
May we learn this valuable lesson, that following the teachings of Jesus Christ brings true and lasting happiness!!!
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